Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That’s me: I’m not...– John Green, Will Grayson (via fffractures)
jayg4tsby: Those people you like really want to be friends with but you don’t know how to go about doing it without making an ass out of yourself
musicartobsessed: stuckwithhomestuck: DID...
I experienced way too many feelings this morning and afternoon.
ihopericksantorum: I hope Rick Santorum gets backstage passes to his favourite band and the band mistakenly thinks he’s Romney and he goes along with it. Then the band proceeds to make jokes about Santorum without Santorum actually saying who he really is.
monsterkin: i am seriously and genuinely worried 100% of the time that you all hate me and are making fun of me and that putting up with me is all one big elaborate joke that no one let me in on and you’re going to break the news to me on april fools with streamers and party hats and everything and continue to laugh at me. it’s gonna happen. you all hate me. it’s definitely going to happen
I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple...– John Green, The Fault in Our Stars (via express-media)
I think there is a part of all us that is totally...
i used to be a lorax, but then i took an axe to the thneed– lucas’s favorite joke (via lowtax)
customercervix: do prostitutes ever have bogo sales
becauseimakhajiit: She wears short skirts I wear T-shirts she’s cheer captain and I cry over the death of my favorite fictional character at 3 am
Friend: You could do it you know.
Friend: Take off from Tumblr, go outside.
Me: I wouldn't make it 5 minutes
kawaiians: i have to pee but the bathroom’s all the way in the bathroom
How to blow a bubble:
lolsofunny: Step 1: First go like this Step 2: Spin around Step 3: STOP! Step 4: Double take 3 times; 1…2…3! Step 5: Then Pelvic Thrust! Step 6: Stop on your right foot, DON’T FORGET IT! Step 7: Now it’s time to bring it around town. Step 8: Then yo do this, then this, and this, and that, and this, and that, and this. Step 9: THEN…! Thats how i do it…. The Funniest.
awesomenadroj: thejollynerd: little-nerdfighter-things: For the TFIOS movie, I think Nerdfighters should be the extras. I think Nerdfighteria has to be involved one way or another. Whether the main roles or not, the movie has to be filled with awesome. Okay? Okay.
The Fault in Our Stars has screenwriters →
themistakemaker: Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber. HOLY CRAP THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO DID (500) DAYS OF SUMMER!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Jehovah’s Witnesses. Oh fuck.
Person: John Green is a sexist.
*John Green book* 'You never worry if she is smarter than you.You know she is.'
Person: John Green isn't funny.
*John Green book* 'It's not because I want to make out with her. He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit.'
Person: John Green is sex-crazed
*John Green book* 'I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase.'
Person: John Green isn't deep
*John Green book* 'You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.'
Me: GOOD DAY TO YOU MY FRIEND.